Emotions going through me..

I'm really bored. That's right, B-O-R-E-D! I feel climbing up to the Mount Everest, the tallest peak in the world, and shout "BORINGGG!!!"...*sigh*

So, what do I do? Write a new post, of course. After PMR, most of my classmates finally create their own blog. Everyday I get to read new posts from random people. Sometimes it's funny to read them. The things they go through are similar to what I'm going through some way. Some of my friends will also post memorable stuffs that happened in school or anywhere, while some of my friends just post something random which may be interesting to read. But, that was just a fad. It seems like the fad of this blogging in my class had ended.

What should I write about? I don't even know. There's nothing much for me to write, and there's nothing happening yet. Maybe next week there's many things to write because later this week, my activities are all packed up! I like being busy doing what I love, and after the whole tiring day, I feel like I'm one step nearer to success. My favourite day used to be Fridays, because it's the last day of school and before Emily went back to Australia, I always go to Saxon and just spend time with her. It's just so fun being with her (Hey, I'm not lesbian, mind you). And Jeremy, he just lights up my day with his energetic personality. Last year was my worst school year. The pressure from being the Head Prefect, from the teachers who expect so much from me and from my friends who I almost lost because of being the Head Prefect. I can't believe how much tears I lost last year. I forgot which month was it, but I remember very clearly that I cried almost everyday. My parents were worried for me, worried that I might have depression. So, they told me if I really don't enjoy school I can transfer school after my PMR to any nearby school, SMK Seri Saujana or SMK Seri Sentosa. With their encouragement and support, I manage to get through my life in form 2, but hating every moment I spent in SMK Bandar Baru Seri Petaling. And now I use this chance to apologize to my friends that I might have scolded unnecessary last year.

So, naturally, the starting of this school year, I hated school too. As some of my previous posts said, I felt like a newbie in school. Every step I make in my school seemed like a step being an embarrassment. I lost my self-esteem in school and I felt so lonely. It's really a relieve that I still had Wen Lee, Ying Fang, Yi Pei and Mindy starting of the school year. I was really moody when my mom picked me up after school. A few months later, my parents gave me a decision to transfer to a private school, Sri Cempaka and I accepted. My mom got all the information from the school, like the school fees, the activities and bla bla bla. It really made me want to transfer more. The activites, the orchestra, the performing arts all took my attention and I hoped so much to be accepted in. On the 1st of August, I went to Sri Cempaka to take my entrance exam. It was extremely difficult and after the exam, I felt like my chances of being accepted was wearing thin.

But then, I felt happy at the same time too. Because I was starting to enjoy school, all because of the great atmosphere in my class, 3 Harmoni. We were starting to become a family, ready to battle for victory in the upcoming PMR. We were all helping each other out, solving the unsolvable together, and soon, I didn't feel like transferring. But, the only thing that encouraged me to transfer was Prefect.

I hate being a prefect already. Why? Because when we do something wrong, along with the normal students, the teacher will always scold everyone then turn to us and say "Tengok? Pengawas pun buat macam ni". Oh My God! Hello?!? We're humans too, okay? We're not perfect because we're prefect! Everyone makes mistakes okay? So will ya just PLEASE, give us a break! So by transferring, I can avoid meeting the teacher for resigning and all that.

A month later, I got a call from Ms. Lee from Sri Cempaka. I was qualified to enter Sri Cempaka. I don't know what to say to that. Happy? Yes I was. Sad? Yes I was too. I was beginning to worry that I won't fit in to that English speaking school. I can speak English, yeah, but sometimes, my English sucks too. Words that I wanna say just can't come out in English. For years I have been speaking Chinese to my friends, in primary, secondary, music, orchestra.. But now, suddenly changed to speaking English 24/7? I don't know if I can stick with that.

And now, after PMR, I keep wondering, Did I really make the right choice? What if my PMR results are not good and I can't get into Science? I hope I won't go through what I did in form 2. I don't wanna add burden to my parents for paying my such expensive school fees and still feel depressed about it. So, I will try my best to be happy next year, and if I'm not, I will try my best of the best to NOT bring the unhappiness back home.

Good luck to me.