Disappointed at you all..

29th November 2009 (Sun) ,8.00pm
PJ Civic Auditorium
Organizer:PJ Youth Chamber Orchestra Society

I just can't wait for that day. I've never been to that auditorium before, but my mom says it's quite beautiful. It seats about 900+ people and on that day, I think about 800+ people are coming to watch us perform, including the VIPs who are all those YB-YB. My family are coming to watch the orchestra, too.

Now I have my hopes up high in the sky for that day. I want it to be the night of excitement for me. Nothing but fun, fun and fun. But, every time in my life, whenever I get my hopes up too high, it just never happens. You want examples? I'll give you examples!

Example number 1.
2 years ago, when our drama teacher, Teacher Osver, told us about the grand Musical that we're going to do before Emily and Jeremy leave for Australia, it sounded so interesting, so professionally done. The teacher describe that we need to dance and sing and there's many action scenes like fighting. We did rehearse some really cool scenes with dance moves, which we enjoyed a lot and will look awesome in the show, but months before the Musical, our teacher canceled all those moves and taught us new moves.

Example number 2.
Ms. Pyen told us that the Musical will be in KLPac, Pentas 1, which is amazing big and beautiful. I know this because we went to watch the Nutcracker there. During the whole show, I kept telling Emily and Quinnie to imagine us performing on that stage, that impressively big stage, and the lightings, the spotlights all on us. And I imagined us being backstage, getting our costumes and make-up ready to shine on stage. In the end, we couldn't perform there due to some problems our teacher never told us, and we were stuck performing in Saxon, where there were no spotlights, no backdrop, no awesome seatings, no nothing. We thought that we were finally performing a show professionally, where people need to buy tickets to see this show, and we were doing 2 shows! But, it ended up like a recital, free admitance. We did 3 shows because of insufficient seats for parents.

Example number 3.
Teacher told us that the songs we sang in the Musical will be recorded in a proper studio, and make it into a CD. Everyone was so excited! We were given a chance to record songs in a studio, which we might never have. We planned on waiting for Emily's trip back here and record it with her. But the teacher ended up postponing the songs because of some stupid performances. In the end we only had a few weeks to practice, and the teacher made it sound like we were really going to record it. Not long after that, the teachers finally decided that we shouldn't record it anyway because a lot of people who sang in the choir were not joining anymore. And now we started sing awful songs. The major let down for me.

Example number 4.
Emily is finally back for just 2 weeks. Before she came back she promised that the time of one of her weeks will be given to us Saxon peeps. She said she will visit us always, and we'll go shopping together. The first week she's in Malaysia, we hardly heard from her. Then the first Saturday, she say she will try her best to make it, but she didn't. The next day, she said she will go for orchestra and meet me there. Halfway through, she smsed and said she can't make it again, and she will see me on Tuesday where we go to Sunway. She promised that she will go on Tuesday, but Monday night she smsed me again saying that she can't go on Tuesday, without a proper reason, and postponed it to Friday. Wednesday night she smsed me AGAIN, and said that she can't go Friday, because her grandma wants to see her, and she says to meet me on Saturday in Saxon. As some of you know, I am damned furious with her. What if she can't make it again on Saturday? She's leaving on Sunday, okay? I've been waiting for so long to see her, more than a year, and before she even left, I already wished that I could see her more, that's the reason I went to Saxon on Fridays last year even when I don't have classes that day. When we were practicing the Musical songs, I never could hold back my tears when I heard the songs we sang together. Going to orchestra? Doesn't seemed the same without you cause you're the one who always kept me company there. Did you know how hard it was for me to think that I can't go to Choir and Drama classes with you anymore? How hard it is when everyone wasn't in the percussion except for me and Teacher Lily only? When I found the videos in the Halloween party, did you know how much I missed you? You're my best friend, but now I don't know whether I'm one of your best friends or not. You've disappointed me so much.

Example number 5.
I've always wanted a dog as my pet for my whole life. I've always begged my parents to get me one whenever we see a dog for sale. Even in my first trip to SPCA Selangor, I even thought of adopting a dog and hide it in my room. It's just too bad that the adoption must have our parent's signature. Early this year, I was finally going to get a dog. It was my cousin's, and she can't rear it cause it keeps fighting with the other dogs. So she gave it to us. I was so happy and everyday after school, I just put down my school bag and played with it before I take my bath or even touch the computer. Life was fun with Iceman around. About 3 months later, my parents started complaining about how difficult it is to rear a dog when we are always not around. So, we sometimes left Iceman in my cousin's house, where he was always caged and scolded. According to I-don't-know-who, Iceman felt that we don't want him anymore, so he just started becoming crazy. Always growling at us and showing out his teeth and attacking us. Soon after my parents decided that we give him away. Eventually, we did. We gave Iceman to a friend of my cousin, but the next day she called and say Iceman tried to attack it. Then she gave it to a pet groomer. Now Iceman is still there and I miss him very much. The one chance, I get to hold a dog and tell everyone "This is MY dog, Iceman", and my parents had to took it away. I loved Iceman dearly, and I want to see him. Why can't one of you family members take me? Is it really impossible that I see the dog that I love? It's bad enough I can't keep it, and now you're not letting me see it? You know how I felt about you guys giving him away.

I will stop writing now. This is a first time I cried while writing a post. I just hate disappointments.