Yup.

So I'm blogging again.

Let's talk about my feelings, finally.


The same problem all over again. I don't know what I want for the future. You know how some girls just think that they want to get married to the perfect guy and just live happily ever after with no troubles or burden because it's all left for the husband to worry? Well, I try not to be that kind of girl. I mean, sure I wanna be married to the perfect guy and live happily ever after, but I still wanna live the life the way I want to. I still wanna achieve the dreams I had. It's not like he's holding me back or something, it's just that, people change. I changed.

And I don't know whether I like this me or not.

I don't know who I am anymore.

Come to think of it, I'm an awful human being.

Sometimes I just think, he deserves someone better. Not some hot-tempered, irrational, slobby, jealous girlfriend.

Looks like my New York dream is shattered. No more New York for me. LA? Hah, I doubt I even have the chance to be accepted. Like I said, everyone around me is so fucking talented and here I am, having the talent of the loudest nose-blow.

But you know what? New year, new me.

I'm gonna learn to NOT give up, like how I do every single time. I'm gonna learn to SUCK IT UP and stop whining about it. I'm gonna learn how to be genuinely happy for people. I'm gonna learn how to stop being a jealous bitch in everything. Stop being so hot tempered, stop being so impatient, stop being so irrational, stop being so fucking dumb. Academics aren't all that.

I will change. Change into a better me. For my parents, for my brother, for my friends (who matter), and for him.

New year, new me. Yup.